(via jostt)


arrogantdad:

my mom told me that in high school she use to get boyfriends at the beginning of February so they had enough time to get her a valentines day gift and then break up with them the day after and just keep the gift and one day she told her parents about it and they made her keep her boyfriend at least until the end of February and so she did and that boy is now my dad

(via tyleroakley)


(x)

(via tyleroakley)


internetexplorers:

unbuttoning your pants after a huge meal

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(via leithreas)


moriarty:

deadlyspoons:

I either dress like im going to a red carpet event or like im a homeless drug addict there is no in between

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(via leithreas)


I know y’all like sinks and shit but lets talk about toasters

bandgeek-musicfreak:

ciel-the-neko-overlord:

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This one looks like a scanner

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This one poaches eggs too

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Fucking hamster wheels

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This ones see through

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Awesomeness

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This one hangs on the fucking wall

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It’s like a flower

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Hand held toaster

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Need a reminder? write it on your toast

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Old school like the old school

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WERE LOSING HIM SIR NOT ON MY WATCH

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 Now you know todays weather

i didn’t realize that a toaster fandom actually existed. this is beautiful. 

(via leithreas)


(via leithreas)


ohmahgahd:

THIS WEBSITE.

(via leithreas)


can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

why is there a huge jug of oregano??? who the fuck puts oregano in brownies?????

i have been informed that it is not oregano but is in fact marijuana
oh

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

can-u-not-my-wayward-son:

why is there a huge jug of oregano??? who the fuck puts oregano in brownies?????

i have been informed that it is not oregano but is in fact marijuana

oh

(via leithreas)


neon-vagina:

bigeisamazing:

ronaldreagay:

laughing cow cheese huh?
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I BET THAT COW WASNT LAUGHING WHEN YOU SLAUGHTERED IT HUH

you don’t kill a cow

to make cheese

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this is literally my favorite

(via leithreas)


partybarackisinthehousetonight:

a fun thing to do: say “no thanks, i’m a vegetarian” when people hand you their newborn babies

(via leithreas)


unf-hans:

baelor:

bad lip reading

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motherfucka you gay

CRYING

(via tyleroakley)



masqverades:

do you ever get so disgusted with yourself, like you can not believe how stupid and thoughtless you are and it’s so frustrating because you keep telling yourself that you’ll do better next time but then next time rolls around and the same thing keeps happening and you end up in this pattern of mediocrity

(via slay-your-dreams)


amporeon:

basedmadoka:

an erotic poem:

leg so hot

hot hot leg

leg so hot u fry an eg

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I HAVE WAITED FOR SO LONG TO FIND THIS AGAIN

(via slay-your-dreams)